This devotional is from former “Cee’s Thots” archives. I pray it blesses you.
James 4:8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. (WEB)
Here I was crying again, blubbering to the Lord about all my troubles – money, relationships, failure, frustration…. Why did my life feel SO hard? I whined. It was like pulling a sled with 100 pound weights on it over a bed of rocks. I knew God had shown me beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was to proceed with that path He had shown me so clearly, but WHY have I hit so many road blocks? Why do I feel SO miserable? Why have I missed all of the goals I set forth? Why can’t I find enough time in my day to do the things I need to do, or even want to do?? Self pity engulfed me.
The current crying jag subsided. I wiped my face to return to work. As I dug through the mountain of paperwork on my disheveled desk, looking for a certain piece of paper I needed, I put my dusty Bible aside. Then it hit me….. I’ve put my God aside. Had I shut Him out? Nah…. I argued with myself that I did my quiet time EVERY morning! Indignation welled up in my heart… Hmph, silly thought…
Yet that still small voice in my heart nagged at me – even though I had a quiet time every morning, reading a light devotional with uplifting thoughts, I was not reading my Bible, nor committing my thoughts and heart to God during that time. I hurried through it so I could get on with the rest of my day. I had cut off the flow of communication with my Lord. I sat there contemplating… when was the last time I truly heard from God during my quiet times? Didn’t I stop writing my devotions for a year or two because I was ‘too busy’? Why was that? Because I put God aside, not allowing Him to be first place in everything.
All of a sudden, like a dam exploding with water, my heart broke over the sin I committed by omitting God from my thoughts as I went about my day. A flood of cleansing tears helped me ask for His forgiveness, for His help in returning to the closeness I once had with Him, for His guidance and wisdom in rebuilding my relationship with Him. Now I knew what I needed to do….
If you feel heaviness in your life, that things are just too much to bear, I encourage you to take some time and go to a quiet spot to pray. Ask God what He may be trying to tell you through this situation. When we are walking outside of God’s will for our lives, God will forsake (leave, disown, renounce, turn his back on) us to our sins. He will not bless sin and cannot look upon it. Trust me; HE is truly waiting to gather you up with great mercies!
Since He is a gentleman, He will never put His will upon you forcefully. It is by our own decision that He has us come to Him…. And it is by our own decisions that we leave Him….
Prayer – Heavenly Father, Lord of the universe, Abba God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Please forgive my arrogance, stubbornness and selfishness to think I could do things on my own. Thank You for your kindness in forgiving me, thank You for Your guidance in getting my life back in line with You. Please help me shine my light on the paths of others, so that they are led straight to YOU. In Your Son’s perfect, holy name I pray, Amen and Halleluyah!
